Ok, so I’m sitting at church looking at the candles and ambience during praise and worship and I’m thinking…going to church sort of feels like I’m on a date with God. Don’t laugh. Oh I don’t care if you do. I’m just being real. It’s a different kooky way of thinking about it. Speaking as a woman, what do you picture for a date? A guy takes you out to a nice place. There are candles, possibly music playing in the background. and you get to know him and etc. I feel like that is everything I’ve wanted and I’ve had it this whole time and never realized it til now.
This is how I see it. I get dressed up. Who for? Someone else there? No. It’s for Him. I drive to a place and the door is opened for me to sit and wait for Him to show up. The thing is…there was no waiting. He was already there before I was. Waiting for me to say something. Singing the songs is like I’m speaking to him. Saying things from my heart. And I close my eyes and His love feels like a dance. I lift my hands as if we’re dancing. Then the more I learn about Him, the more I feel loved. The more I feel appreciated. I know I am not the only one in the room, but that’s the way He makes me feel.
This is what going to church is like for me. It hit me on the head today. I’m sitting, there is candles, I’m all dressed up. He was already there waiting. I don’t have to call him and ask if He’s coming. I’m speaking from my heart about the things I desire. He is sharing my future with me. It’s really an intimacy that I can’t describe unless you’ve had it. I have to admit I do not always follow through with spending time with him, and yet I proclaim to always love him. But showing it is more is something I have to do. I absolutely adore Sundays. Because all week I deal with things that burden me. That keep me awake. That keep me in fear. And then Sunday happens. And it’s like I just forget about it all and concentrate in those few hours about how much I am wanted, hear, loved and how much I love Him.
Baring my soul,