From the struggle comes strength…

 

 The other night I had a great encounter with God. Usually after I shower and I blow dry my hair, I break into song. I just start singing. Weirdest thing. I get revelation either in the shower or in my bedroom. Anyways, I get out the shower, blow dry my hair and start singing. These words just started flowing. With a melody. So I sang the first few lines. I looked at my keyboard in the corner, which I haven’t played in a matter of months. I started playing, trying to find the tune of this newfound song. I was having trouble. After that, I started playing these repetitive chords over and over. And it became this music and lyrics, as if I was serenading my Heavenly Father. Just me and Him. And he is singing back to me. It was like a beautiful duet, a spiritual duet. It was a priceless moment to capture. I fell into a trance. When I started I looked at my clock. I wanted to go to bed in time for my early morning at work. So I look at the clock. It is about 10:49. I kept playing, still entranced. I look at the clock when I’m done. It was 11:11. I love it when the Holy Spirit takes over a song and time isn’t the focus. I don’t like when people play worship or praise music and put it on a time limit. I realize it can’t go on all night. But…I don’t like timing it. He works out of time, more than in it. After I finished playing, I felt complete peace. I went straight to sleep and it wasn’t interrupted like always. 

For some time, I have had trouble sleeping. For weeks at a time. Waking up at 3 a..m. 5 a.m. I knew exactly what my purpose, what my dream is. To do this. Play music for my Father and help others gain access to his heart through song and lyrics. I’m thinking about going to this school for 9 months to be trained more in this area. 

Lately, since this newfound dream has ocurred, I find myself struggling. Not only financially. But I struggle. 

I try to be: -the good friend who is always there for everyone

                 -the good Christian who is always striving to be the best witness for Christ

                 -the good daugher, helping my parents out in any way that I can

                 -the good employee

It is hard. And I feel as if I’m failing in these areas. But through struggle comes strength. 

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