I am so glad it is not over for me! For the longest time, I felt it was. Mid-year, I was quite depressed. My heart’s status was in question. It is not longer. I know who is the one for me, now and forever. It is him. My heart is wrapped in His. At work, I was tempted to unravel the strings a bit. But the feeling always passed. For a reason.
No man is worthy of my heart until he wins it. And he won it years ago on a cross.
No love could ever measure greater than His for me. And so my heart is kept. God knows me better than I know myself. I do believe I will be with someone someday. It’s up to God when that day will be. I believe it will be this year, though.
He clearly said to me. “I have seen every tear since you were a child. Ever tear since a teenager and a young woman. You had questions that were unanswered. I didn’t answer them out of punishment. I didn’t answer them out of love. But your time has come. Your destiny will be revealed this year and come into fruition. Your questions will be answered. The man you are supposed to be with will also be revealed. I am building steel inside you. I am arming you. And even though the fire may come close to your skin, it will not touch. You will not be burned.”
To me, that said it all. He has been speaking to me, more and more. I feel like the days to come are going to be different. Not good different. Not bad different. But just different than any of the years that have happened already. I am excited. He has renewed hope in me. I feel like physically I’m going to have to prepare. He said to get my body and my mind strong. I will have to fight. Recently, my mind has been going to strange places. In dreams, there is a situation where I am entrapped. Recently, someone had a quest to put me in jail. And I was being fought for. My lawyer wanted to keep me safe in his house. I don’t know what I’m going to face. But I hope to face it like a warrior. Like Katniss Everdeen. I want to laugh in the face of fear or rebuke it.
I feel like the man I am going to be with is also being prepared. I want to be like the Tauriel in The Hobbit sequel. She fought with a sword and didn’t wait for a man to fight her battle. I need a guy who is strong to stand beside me. No matter what demons I might face. I’m pretty sure God knows I don’t need a little ninny Christian man. He knows what I need. He has always known. I am incomplete without with my Father’s love.
On to other things, this new year will bring clarity. Answers to questions. I want to live in the freedom and experience nature. Instead of being stuck in an office, I hope to travel. It doesn’t even have to be out of the country. I would like to take a road trip with someone. Go to the lake. I am determined to have fun this year!! Maybe go on another hike. Take pictures of a beautiful sunset. I don’t want to be chained to some corporate place again. I want to go on a mission trip. I believe I am to go to nations. I need to enhance my prayers. I need to learn a new way of praying. I want to make my prayers more creative. I want the Bible to come to life more than it has. Maybe I need to find a new setting. God show me where to go. I’m willing to take my shoes off and walk in the hot sand blindly. If it means leaving what I know.