I am trying to get the right mindset. Lately, fear has been tormenting me. It’s because I’m spiritually dry. (We all have our seasons). Like…I’ll admit this. I have a hard time reading His Word constantly. I lost my Bible awhile ago, and never bought a new one. Money is tight. So I usually read it on my Kindle. But I haven’t done it in a little while. And I am spiritually weak. When you are weak and weary, it leaves you open for attack. Anyways, I am trying to get into the right mindset. I ask the question often to God and usually like to receive a response. Within a week. A month. But…now when I ask him questions, He states the obvious. I say God this is what I want. He is always patient with me. I wouldn’t blame him if His patience with me was getting low. I feel like I’m getting back the response “What have you done about it?” Whoa God. Wait…you are right.
He has a point. What am I doing about it? I am unhappy with my weight. Help me God. Ok, Mare. But…you know what you have to do too. So do it. I want a man someday, God. Ok…are you working on yourself to be the best, whole and healthy person for him? Uh…
God, I want a music career. Either leading worship or having a band to reach people and use the talent you’ve given me. Have you put yourself out there, Mare? Have you went to auditions? Have you really put your full effort out there to be used? Uh…
So basically, I feel like He’s given me a kick in the pants. Even though this weather is not putting me into a motivating mood, I will strive to do better. I guess chocolate isn’t that important when you look at the big picture of desires. It’s not really worth it. I would give it up for a chance at what I really really want. Here will be my goals
-Trust God that He will lead the paths to my understanding and destiny
-Get in shape (so cliche but true)
-Put myself out there. Make videos of me playing my music. Possibly trying out for auditions.
-Work on the outside of myself to match the inside. Lately, I haven’t cared what I look like. Ashamed to admit that, but it’s true.
-Make my spiritual life a priority
-Work toward goals to help the world (Sex trafficking)