As I sit here, unable to sleep, I am pondering this thought. God showed me this today during my praying and worship time.
Instead of the world always asking me for an answer to their prayers, maybe they could answer mine. -God
Wow, God. That is deep. I never really thought of it that way. But it is true. We are always asking, “God, please do this.””God please do that.” As if he has some sort of quasi-genie dimension. And we get greedy. We ask all the time. And He does love to bless us beyond measure. But more than that, He wants us. Just us. Just a moment with us. A moment with our hearts. He wants to know what we are feeling, where we are at. He loves it when we pray to Him. Because that is part of devotion and commitment. And it is honor.
I had an emotional day. And even though it was an hour or so, it was the most eye opening, heart wrenching hour with Him. I was in my bedroom and I cried out to him. I was sobbing. Before that, I started singing. I was singing with all of my heart and lungs to Him. I was starting to come up with new songs. Worship songs. So I just started singing from deep within my soul. These beautiful words formed to express my love for Him. And I fell to my knees. The tears burst right out of me so strongly. And I poured out everything I was feeling on that carpet. Things I was in denial about. Things that I needed to express from my lips, not my thoughts. And I felt something being released.
As you know, if you’ve read my past blog from this year, I had not worked in 5 months. Longest 5 months of my life. I know that comparing it to Moses’ adventure in the wilderness with the Israelites is no comparison. But I felt that I was in a wilderness. And it was dry. I had to let go of things, people, idealistic expectations of life. It was hard. But imminent. In that time, He has shown me and helped me grow and mature in my relationship with Him even more.
I prayed and prayed for answers. “Why is this happening to me? Why is nothing working? Am I even in the right place??” And one day, while in my pool, a rainbow appeared. No cloud. No rain. And if I wasn’t there, I would not have seen it. Because it faded 10 minutes later. He was showing me His love. He was showing me that He cares that I am going through this. And a few days later, I had a job interview. And I now have that job. Is it the job I prayed for? No, not really. See, the thing is, He answers our prayers, but not in the way we expect. Why? To teach us. To show us. And when we press into Him, he gives us clarity in why things are happening and what He wants us to learn from.
I have a job. But it is not fulfilling to me. It is not really fun. The only good thing is it will provide for what I need. He answered my prayer. But one thing I will keep asking myself, one thing we should all ask ourselves is…how can we answer His prayers?
What is His prayer? To spend time with us. To letting Him use us for His glory and His purposes. He’s not asking for every second of our day. But His prayer is to be our number one priority. His prayer is for us to be his hands, feet, and tell the world of His great love.
Instead of always asking God to answer OUR prayers, maybe we should try answering His.
To rephrase John F. Kennedy in my own version: “Ask not what God can do for you, but what you can do for God.”