“You Need To Fight Harder!”

I had the oddest dream last night. I had a dream that Sylvester Stallone was my father. And he wanted to train me to be a fighter. (Rocky flashback) Anyways, I had worked really hard and I started fighting. I don’t think I was fighting anyone, because the dream didn’t show a person. I think I was fighting inanimate objects. I don’t know. But I know I was fighting hard. I came home that night, bruised and bloodied. My mother, who was Italian(not in real life though :p) was cleaning me up. She was helping heal my bruises and wiping the blood off my face.

My father, Stallone, came home and saw my face. He was talking to my mother. He came up to me and said, “You didn’t fight hard enough. You need to fight harder.” I was so mad as well as my mother. She said, “Look at her! She has bruises! She could have been killed.” He said again, “You need to fight harder.” I walked away from him. He tried to put his hand on my shoulder. But I said, “Don’t touch me!” And I left. I came back a day later, and I had really been damaged. I had pieces of glass in my back. Huge shards that were wedged in. I know it was a dream, but I cringed as if I could really feel that glass. My dad felt sorry for me. He tried to help me. He took out some pliers, had me stand against the wall and said, “I have to do this and it’s going to hurt.” He was going to use the pliers and rip the glass out. I woke up before I felt anything.

This dream, as odd as it is, spoke to me. I have been fighting. Not just people. Myself. Fighting my thoughts. Fighting situations. And from that, I have been bruised and blooded. Like that dream, I just wanted my dad to feel sorry for me. I have been wanting God to feel sorry for me. To just hug me and tell me things I want to hear. But he hasn’t done that. I then, in turn, change my attitude toward him. Just like in the dream. “Don’t touch me!” You are supposed to bandage me up and tell me I’m ok and to lay low. But no. He wants to toughen me up. He wants me to keep fighting. And when I get the crap beat out of me, He will tend to my wounds.

Why am I sharing this? Because at one time or another, we have experienced the struggle to give up. We have had our hearts broken. We have had situations where we have felt we can no longer go on. We feel like just laying low after taking a beating. We also want sympathy. But sometimes instead of sympathy, we need to man up and get back in the ring. (Fighter analogy, I know).

You might be a situation where people are hurting you. Not just physically. But emotionally. Maybe your family abandoned you. Maybe your friends have left you behind. Or have been removed from your life. Maybe your bills are piling up and you are so behind you don’t think you can ever catch up. Life keeps throwing punches and you feel like giving up. Instead of giving up, get back up. Keep fighting. Do not give up. More importantly, don’t give up on God. He has been watching you from beginning of time. He has been looking out for you. Even when you weren’t. Even when no one else was. He will heal your wounds. He is a loving God. If you have pieces of glass that are stuck in your back, with his loving hands, He will remove them. And sometimes He won’t say what you want to hear because He wants you to find the strength through Him to keep fighting.

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses-1 Timothy 6:12

Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle;-Psalm 144:1

Don’t give up! Surrendering seems like the easy thing to do. But when you do that, you are saying it’s ok to treat me this way. I deserve to live in fear. I deserve to live in pain. And no one deserves to live a life away from the Father’s love. The only time surrender is acceptable is when your give your life to Jesus.

Don’t listen to the voices that want to destroy you. Listen to the voice that says this:

I pulled you in from all over the world,
    called you in from every dark corner of the earth,
Telling you, ‘You’re my servant, serving on my side.
    I’ve picked you. I haven’t dropped you.’
Don’t panic. I’m with you.
    There’s no need to fear for I’m your God.
I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you.
    I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.-Isaiah 41:10 MSG

Keep fighting, friends!! ❤


Listen, kid…

Growing up in a different society, I feel obliged to share things with the children of this world. Things I would say to them. Things I would’ve said to myself. I see a lack of respect toward parents, teachers and any form of authority. I also see kids bullying other kids. I see children being murdered and violated of their innocence. I fear for these children. I fear they will never know love. I fear they will never know themselves. I fear they won’t know to obey rules for their protection. So here is what I would say to these kids.

You who have been abused, verbally, physically, sexually..I’m sorry. I’m sorry you deal with pain every day. I’m sorry you were let down by the people who said they loved you. I’m sorry you didn’t feel special. I’m sorry you don’t feel comfortable when someone else hugs you. I’m sorry for the scars and the bruises that have healed. I’m sorry you had to hear those words that cut you. The people who did those things to you will pay. If not, then later. I believe in the power of justice. Whether it comes from the law or from God. Don’t let that experience make you grow bitter and cold hearted. Don’t let that bitterness toward that person turn into hatred. Within time, however long it takes, be willing to one day let it go. If you keep holding onto it, it can be more damaging to you and your relationships with other people. What was taken from you can be given back. Let your heart and body heal. Let your mind heal. Don’t turn to alcohol. That only numbs the pain and causes more of it.

Respect your elders. Those who stood by you through the hard times. You never know when they will be taken from your life. Respect the people that say no to you. They are doing it for your own good. Respect when they say yes. Don’t take advantage of the freedom you are given. Because it can be taken away in the blink of an eye.

Don’t humiliate someone because they are different than you. In the way they dress, talk, or act. Those are the ones you should be treating in the best manner and intention. They might have something you need. Or you might have something they need. Everyone deserves to be respected and loved. When you don’t show that to them, they won’t show it to you. And other people you come across will repay you either way. So work on your character. Don’t become the person you hate. Become like the person you love.

Life is what you earn. Don’t expect a free handout from the world because of what kind of life you were given. This sense of entitlement has to end. No one is more special because of their income or lack of. Work hard. When you do, money is not the only reward. It is a sense of pride and self respect that no one else can give you.

Live with integrity. The decisions you make today can affect your tomorrow and the rest of your life. So think before you choose or act on. Think before you pick what to wear, what to say, and how you present yourself. Girls, the way you dress is a representation of who and what you are the world. Whatever you want to say or convey is shown by what you wear. People see the outside package first. Not the inside. So wearing that mini skirt and Wonderbra might grab some attention. But know this too. Attention does NOT equal love. If a guy just likes the way you look, that is all you will have. And you will feel shallow and hollow. And empty.

Guys, how you act is a statement to girls and the world. How you talk and act says more about you than how far you can throw a football or dunk a basketball. How you treat your mother is how you will treat all girls. Even your future wife. Your manhood is not defined by how many girls you sleep with. A man’s character should be what he does in the face of fear and faith.

Find your passion. Find what makes you come alive. What keeps you from sleeping and eating. (Not that you should do that.) Find what drives you and go after it. Don’t say next year I’ll do it. And then not do it. Do it while you are young and ambitious. Because when you get older, it will be harder to regain that ambition. Things will try to weigh you down and get in the way of you and your passion. But keep fighting. Don’t give up. Make something of yourself. Not for the approval or fame. But for personal fulfillment.

Most importantly, choose a path. A spiritual path. But choose the right one. Choose Jesus. Choose him to be a part of your life. Because without Him, there is no life or reason to live it. You may roll your eyes when someone mentions God or prayer. But it could be prayer that has kept you out of jail. Or kept you from overdosing. Or kept you from being injured in a serious car wreck. Or protected your heart from the wrong person. Don’t neglect prayer. It is a necessity in life. If you have trouble in believing in God, that is your choice. Everyone struggles with that some point in their life. You can go through many gods. The god of approval. The god of greed. The god of jealousy. The god of self love. But all other gods will fail you. Only the true God can save you from death. From hell. From eternal separation from every loving and breathing thing. So choose wisely.

Vision and Voice

Before I start writing this message, I wanted to catch you up on the haps with me so far.

I’ve already mentioned that I am working at a clinic. That being said, recently, my body has been under attack. Starting with my mind. Then it moved to my physical parts. My eye and now my throat. I thought why is this happening to me? I hardly EVER get sick. I haven’t had pinkeye in like 3 years. After I overcame the pinkeye that I’m pretty sure was from the walk in clinic I went to so I could get approval to go back to work, the stye happened.

After the pinkeye and stye was over, I developed a fever with chills. Accompanied by coughing, sneezing, runny nose(like a faucet), creating a really sore throat. It was so bad that I thought I was progressing into strep throat. With prayer, green tea and honey and cold medicine, I am 90% better. I can talk again! That being said, every time something physical happens to me, I know it’s beyond what it is.

Satan was trying to take my vision from me! And it was happening. My vision for my life was starting to disappear and fade from me. Satan was trying to take my voice from me. I find that lately, people are not really hearing or listening when I say something. Or I am humiliated for being myself. So I stopped talking. Keeping to myself. But…that is exactly what he wants. He wants me to be blind and he wants me to be silent.

I can say I will not blind and I will not be silent. In fact, I will speak even louder with vigilence. I will not stop writing. I will not stop pursuing all that God has for me. People can try to tear me down with their insecurities and badmouth me because I have Jesus. That’s fine. I won’t shut up about Him.

The truth is, there is one person that I know who does this to me. And she’s not rejecting me. She’s rejecting Jesus inside of me. She wants what I have and she can’t because she has denied in every possible way that He is the only thing she needs. And she hates that I have the one thing she needs. She is envious of His light shining through me and outside of me.

I pray for her. I pray she has a reality check and a heart transplant. I believe she wants what she won’t accept. Jesus salvation. His perfect love. Peace. Spiritual Security. I love this person with the love of Christ. No matter how she tries to knock me down and hurt me. Because Christ loves me that way. No matter how many times we have hurt him and continue doing so, His love is still there. It’s incredible. You will not find that in any relationship you imagine or put yourself in. His love is rare. It is deep. It is unconditional. Requires no contracts or fees. The only thing is you have to receive it. And give it back any way you can.