Before I start writing this message, I wanted to catch you up on the haps with me so far.
I’ve already mentioned that I am working at a clinic. That being said, recently, my body has been under attack. Starting with my mind. Then it moved to my physical parts. My eye and now my throat. I thought why is this happening to me? I hardly EVER get sick. I haven’t had pinkeye in like 3 years. After I overcame the pinkeye that I’m pretty sure was from the walk in clinic I went to so I could get approval to go back to work, the stye happened.
After the pinkeye and stye was over, I developed a fever with chills. Accompanied by coughing, sneezing, runny nose(like a faucet), creating a really sore throat. It was so bad that I thought I was progressing into strep throat. With prayer, green tea and honey and cold medicine, I am 90% better. I can talk again! That being said, every time something physical happens to me, I know it’s beyond what it is.
Satan was trying to take my vision from me! And it was happening. My vision for my life was starting to disappear and fade from me. Satan was trying to take my voice from me. I find that lately, people are not really hearing or listening when I say something. Or I am humiliated for being myself. So I stopped talking. Keeping to myself. But…that is exactly what he wants. He wants me to be blind and he wants me to be silent.
I can say I will not blind and I will not be silent. In fact, I will speak even louder with vigilence. I will not stop writing. I will not stop pursuing all that God has for me. People can try to tear me down with their insecurities and badmouth me because I have Jesus. That’s fine. I won’t shut up about Him.
The truth is, there is one person that I know who does this to me. And she’s not rejecting me. She’s rejecting Jesus inside of me. She wants what I have and she can’t because she has denied in every possible way that He is the only thing she needs. And she hates that I have the one thing she needs. She is envious of His light shining through me and outside of me.
I pray for her. I pray she has a reality check and a heart transplant. I believe she wants what she won’t accept. Jesus salvation. His perfect love. Peace. Spiritual Security. I love this person with the love of Christ. No matter how she tries to knock me down and hurt me. Because Christ loves me that way. No matter how many times we have hurt him and continue doing so, His love is still there. It’s incredible. You will not find that in any relationship you imagine or put yourself in. His love is rare. It is deep. It is unconditional. Requires no contracts or fees. The only thing is you have to receive it. And give it back any way you can.