“She’s Not For You”

That girl that gets up in the morning to pray…she’s not for you
That girl that hears God’s voice above all others…she’s not for you
The woman who spends her money wisely and is content in the small things..she’s not for you
The woman who spreads love and encouragement to those around her…she’s not for you
The girl whose heart is filled with joy and gladness that comes from her heavenly Father…she’s not for you
The girl who finds truth in the Bible rather than the lies from the world..she’s not for you

The man who seeks God’s will for his life..he’s not for you
The man that works hard, earns and spends his money wisely…he’s not for you
The guy who wishes to be with a girl who loves him more than his wallet..he’s not for you
The guy who studies the Word and finds His purpose in giving to others..he’s not for you
The guy that never misses a Bible study and hungry for more of God…he’s not for you



This is a message that is being sent to the wrong ones in your life or were in your life. The ones you wished to work out. The ones you might still be crying tears over.

I write from experience. I am single. I am 33. My heart has only been in the hands that made it. I have been kept for a purpose. I believe that purpose is to show girls, women, guys that He is faithful to the end. He has always had a strong presence in my life and has guided me in every decision. I have worn my promise ring for over 20 years as a reminder that He IS the promise. He IS the hope in the sleepless nights. He IS the one who has been wiping my tears when things didn’t work out. He has been tried and true. His love never fails me. I won’t lie. Sometimes I get swept up in the emotions of having someone. But then I look down at this promise on my finger and remember that I am already taken. He has taken such good care of my heart that He would only entrust the one that deserves it. 

I always tell my single friends to keep waiting. I know it can be testing. I too have had this notion…what if I’m waiting for no one?? I don’t know if I believe that there is someone for every one. I do not hold everyone’s future in my hands. However I hold firm onto the belief that even if that person does not come along, I will be ok. I am a part of the bride of Christ. And my wedding is coming soon. Maybe not in Earth, but in heaven. 

Valentines Day is coming soon. I can’t escape the glamorization of this holiday where I am widely aware of my singlehood. All He said to me was…”The reason these relationships didn’t happen…the reason these men never pursued you because I told them “she’s not for you.” All of a sudden, such clarity came to me. Clarity and closure followed that thought. I was not for them. I have been kept and my heart has been sealed tightly. In the past I would see a guy at times and think…”Hmm. Maybe.” As if God knew the thought was in my brain, He would say right away..”Nope. Not good enough.” He knows my heart and knows who is qualified to hold it. He has designed it and put desire in it for a reason. The main reason is to love Him with ALL of it. Heart, soul, mind and body. 

Be encouraged in your broken hearts. In this time of solace and suffering, remember this. He sometimes allows things to fall apart so He can put them together how he wants it. I have seen people go from singlehood to marriage. About 80% of them say “I can see why all those people have not worked out.” God wants you to want more for yourself. If you are willing to settle just because you don’t want to be lonely, you will miss out on the prize. He wants you to know your worth. He wants you to see your beauty. He knows who is worthy and who is not. He is the only one worthy and faithful. But He also does show you His love through others. I’m not saying it will happen or will not happen for you. Remember…He so loved you that He gave his only Son to have a relationship with you.

God will always be constant in His pursuit of you. When you give into it you will find your happy. Also, maybe down the road, you will find another happy. 


Here’s another way of looking at it ladies. Let’s say A 50 Shades of Cray character will come to meet your parents for the first time. Your mother sees it. Your dad sees it. Your brother or sister sees it. But you don’t. All you see it the suit and believe his  deceptive whispers of love. Your Dad takes him aside for the talk. He says “What intentions do you have for my daughter?” 50 Shades says “Well I love her.” Father says….”You may think that, but she’s not for you.” When we read things such as this book it feeds a fantasy. Agreeing that love is acceptance of someone’s behavior has become the norm of the world and their version of love. This keeps feeding the lie that we can love someone out of their wrong behavior. The lie that says if a guy has good looks and charm, it’s worth the abuse and heartbreak. That guy might break your heart. Worse, he might break your bones. 

” You are not for him.”

God intervenes at times when He knows we don’t have the strength to to. It wasn’t so much them rejecting you. It was God rejecting them for you. It is His will for you to have an undying love that only He can offer. And if you are to be with someone, He wants that for you. God is not a man that he would lie. 

Stop falling for the lie that you are not loved. Or the lie that you should settle for whatever comes your way. Start believing the truth of what you are worth. Start believing you are worthy of His love. He is the true love that we should all be searching for and the true love that we all need.