Staying Pure In a Dirty World

So, most of you may or not know this. But I am a virgin. It’s not something I shout from the rooftops. I’m just stating the facts. To be pure in a dirty world is hard. You have most movies that feature sex scenes, you have magazines that give you tips for the bedroom, you have the inner urge to have a romance with someone. It is hard to stay pure.

But I do it. I struggle with the humanity of myself and try to hold on for as long as I can before the struggle hits me in the face. It beats me up at times. I pray to God “Help me with this!” He does. He hears. He sees the tears. He knows the struggle I deal with every day in this. His grace is sufficient for me. He gives me grace to combat desires. He gives me freedom to be myself. He gives me understanding in my time of need.

I hold onto the promise that I am not alone. That what I am keeping is worth saving. I don’t know if there are many of us out there (When you’re past 30, people start viewing you as a unicorn. Wait…those exist, right?) But yes there are virgins in their teens, adult years, and even past adult years. We don’t deserve ridicule. We don’t deserve anything but honor and respect in making these decisions to stay pure. I remember the movie “40 Year Old Virgin”. ((Btw, this is not a recommendation to watch at all.))) But the gist of it is this…He was a man who was struggling with staying pure. His friends teased him and ridiculed him. His friends tried to set him up with people for just a one night stand. These guys know NOTHING about what real love is and how to treat women so who are they to give advice. They told him he should do something to combat the urges. Which is what the world WILL teach you. They go as far as to show you. But what they don’t teach you is how you feel afterward. Which is dirty.

Back to the movie. They were trying to tell him that he was less than normal. That he will not become a real man unless he has sex. Let me tell you something. It takes a real man to say no to sex with some random woman just to prove his manhood. It takes a real woman to say no to have sex with some guy who will probably forget it the next day. Once you get past all of Judd Apatow’s perversion of what the world’s version of sex is…there is a good story. He waits. He meets a girl who waits…for awhile…until she finally says umm…are we going to..??. Long story short, he falls in love and she falls in love not knowing his secret he has been carrying around. He ends up waiting and at the end experiences euphoria AFTER the wedding. Notice I said after. He waited and it was worth it. That is the only good thing I found out about that movie. And the movie is relatable to me ((Again, NOT recommending this movie for anyone to watch))

In fact, this brings up another point. Watching movies with romantic storylines or sexual innuendo is probably something you’ll want to avoid. All it does is bring up urges you may not be able to resist. I know I struggle with this too. But if you want to stay pure in a dirty world, this is something you’ll want to look into. Staying away from the premium movie channels, staying away from certain sites online. Why am I suggesting this? Because it feeds the fantasy. It will desensitize your mind into the point where you think it’s romantic…when really it’s scripted and mechanical. When you love someone, it’s not scripted. It may even be awkward on your wedding night. But it’s worth it.

So if you are a unicorn, whether it be male or female, be rest assured you are not alone in the struggle. You are not in an empty boat drifting aimlessly alone. I see the youth out there in the world. My maternal side says…I want to send them all a message to wait. Please do. Sex complicates things. You can never get it back once you give it away. Physically, it can’t be done. Spiritually it can. God’s grace forgives and heals. God’s grace will love you through the mess you’re in and go so far as to pull you out of it. God’s love can keep you pure in a dirty world. Don’t believe what the world says about anything. If they knew everything then why is there so much hate, so much crime, so much perversion. So much human trafficking. So much hunger. So much death. They don’t know the arms of God. They don’t know what love is.

Now I know I have given a lecture about virginity and purity. There are some who have been robbed of that chance already. Someone has stolen something from you that you can’t get back. I would wrap my arms around each one of you if I could and wipe your tears. I would say I’m sorry that they did that to you. I’m sorry that they robbed you of your purity. But I will also say that your purity was not robbed. No one can take your true innocence. They may have in body, but not in your heart. Not in the inner core of your soul. And don’t give them that chance to. What was not freely given was not stolen. Don’t you ever blame yourself. In the eyes of our Father, there is love. Don’t view God the same as other humans. He doesn’t intend any harm or hate toward his creation.

Take care my little unicorns and non unicorns,

-M

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